Day before surgery

May 20th, the day before surgery...

My "to-do" and "to-get" lists are a little long, but they're doable.

My feelings are mixed...not mixed as in "I still have time to back out," but mixed as in I can't help but to think that the reality of this goal is going to start coming even more alive in less than 24 hours. I'm excited for the surgery, but nervous about the hospital. I've never been a fan of them. I know The Ninja" will do his absolute best; and I know those helping me (nurses, "angels", etc...) will do the same.

I can't help but be a little sentimental and think "today is the last day I'm going to look like this!" Not that my facial features will change, but my smile will. Unbelievable.

So, as I pack today and do the other things I need to, I'm going to keep a positive attitude by thinking happy thoughts and pray.

Not sure when the next post will be so stay tuned!

RPE Surgery - computerized!

I found this video on YouTube - it's a good demonstration of the surgery and what I'll be going through the next several months. No worries - it's computerized, so there's no gory images!

Last appointment with the Ninja

Had my last appointment with Dr. Q (now termed, "the Ninja") yesterday and boy, what it something!

He showed on a copy of the x-ray where the incisions would be made; he discussed, of course the risks/complications that COULD happen, which, to my surprise were much more drastic (for lack of better term) than he had talked about at previous appointments. He was so calm the entire time...I felt like I was calm, but you cannot believe how fast my head was spinning - I could have passed out right there! I definitely felt more anxious once the visit was over - I felt like I was short of breath, I felt my eyes darting here and there staying focused on traffic (maybe they shouldn't allow patients to drive after the pre-op appointment?) and I definitely had a rough time sleeping. The last time I had major surgery was when I was 3 and 4 years old when my only care was to be sure my Frog was with me! Jump 32 years in time and...oh boy, have those cares changed!

Now those cares will be:

• Taking the pain medication as prescribed
• Not being stubborn and overdoing it on activity - this definitely includes work
• Living with the gap that will be between my front teeth - temporarily, of course, but still, it won't close up in a day
• Not being stubborn about eating - as much as I'll probably be crazing a taco, I need to take it easy and eat only what I'm able to
• Not being paranoid...about anything
• Being prepared for the next steps in this "new mouth project"

The Ninja really is a good doctor and I think he genuinely cares about his patients. He's the only doctor I've ever known to give his personal cell number to call him any time. His office even provided two recipe books - one with smoothies/soups, etc...and the other is an "eating out" guide that lists soft foods that can be consumed once chewing has started.

SO...a week from today is "the big day." Although I feel nervous, I don't have any reservations about going through with it - it feels like the right thing to be doing. I'm anxious about being in the hospital and the procedure; what the car-ride home will feel like; what it will be like at home...heck, I'm even anxious about receiving the Anointing of the Sick on Wednesday(!), but...I need to remind myself that God is good because He has blessed me with many angels - here and in heaven that help calm my heart - the Ninja included.

SO...in the meantime as I pray for EVERYONE, I will give thanks to them with a silent cheer each time I think of them.
**A "silent cheer" is when you cheer, like at a game, but with no sound!**

OMG, it's May!

I can't believe it's MAY. M-A-Y. May! Time flies a little too fast for me sometimes.

May 1st means that May 21st is very, very close!

I'm ready for it (the surgery) to happen. I need to stop reading all the horror-story blogs from other people who have gone through the same thing! It's easy to become entranced with them and think -

What if that happens to me?...Surely it can't be that bad?...Will I look like that? 

Hopefully I won't become one of "those" bloggers! My goal is to be as honest and humorous as possible!

Let the countdown begin! Or continue...!